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Remembering a classmate

Forums: Questions and Answers About Building Your Site
Created on: 10/08/09 02:09 AM Views: 1814 Replies: 10
Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 2:09 AM

It's a sad day when you loose a close classmate. I just spent the evening updating our reunion site and page to remember a most liked and popular leader classmate, who died on the golf course today. When I was contacted, I was left breathless with the news. It's always difficult to hear a classmate has passed away.
I made a few calls to classmates for help and information, so I could put out the information asap and to put something on out reunion web site. This task was difficult! When I started work on our reunion site, a few months ago, I never thought of going through the emotions I have gone through this evening, now morning. I guess I wanted let fellow administrators know there is no easy way to approach this. The thing that was most difficult was not knowing where to start. There is no time to think about it. I guess if there were no emotions involved, the job would be much easier.
"whooohh" I feel better now. I guess I just needed to share my experience. Right now my greatest worry is putting out miss information, typos, bad grammar and other errors that can come back and haunt me.
Feel free to make comments and suggestions on what I've done to remember our classmate.
Classmate Jim

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 6:42 AM - Response #1

Jim,
Thanks for you words of advice. I have just started our web site and those words are the encouragement I needed to get our memorial page started. This is the toughest page to do but I think I now know where to go with it. Thanks again and I am so sorry for your loss.
Bob

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 7:22 AM - Response #2

Our site is relatively new as well.
We have adopted a policy to make things very simple. Comments about the persons character, at least the wording, are difficult at times. If the right words cannot be found, the newspaper obit can sometimes be handy.
Sometimes, survivors are listed. Also, I have seen only a few site that list the cause of death. Keep in mind, that there are HIIPA laws to be concerned with. As I recall, IF you list a cause, I believe you can only go by what is published in the media. I would recommend NEVER going by word of mouth!
One final thought -maybe including the hyperlink to the obit? I plan on checking with our local paper to see how long a hyperlink is good for.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 12:14 PM - Response #3

Jim, I am so sorry that you lost a classmate. I don't look forward to dealing with that. We did have a classmate that lost his wife recently( classmate from another year). I made the announcement very simple and left the link to the guestbook that the family had set up so people could visit and make comments. You could also make a place in you user forums for comments.

I understand your being emotional about this, especially when so sudden and with no warning. Some of us are ALMOST like family..I feel for you. Best to you. Bonita

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 12:25 PM - Response #4

Thanks for your kind word. I was going to set up a fourm for comments. In the mean time I used the blog site that I had set with our reunion site. Classmate Jim

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 12:43 PM - Response #5

Hi Jim,
So sorry for your recent loss, and a huge Thank you for being touched by the process of adding names of classmates and others to the Memory page. The Memory page is the toughest, but perhaps one of the most important, in my humble opinion. Many from our class have died with so little as a passing note, many had no real obituaries, and there are very few details...Many of those closest to those listed have failed to act in posting their thoughts, etc, and in order to get everyone a "rose" i put a little blurb about condolences to friends and family. Death makes so many folks uncomfortable, but we will all be there some day, whether we plan on it or not, and i am trying to remind our class that Life is short, treasure it and those around you. Our page is a bit lengthy, but "death" and Life are near and dear to my heart, so i am taking the liberty to challenge the living and offer a bit of comfort to those who mourn. It is a work in progress! And a huge Thanks to Esther for letting us know that Il Divo was on playlist...i had looked in the past, but no luck!
So, follow your heart, and help those around you understand the importance of remembering, no matter how "uncomfortable".
One Mom of one of our classmates was so touched that someone would remember her son in a "positive" way after all these years" she felt he had a wider circle of "friends" than she had realized... For this reason alone, our page is open to those that seek some "reminder" of their loved ones lives. The "ripple effect" may be more healing than you think! i guess we will only find out when we meet our Maker, but Thank you for taking the time to make a difference.
Life is shorter than most think...
Have a wonderful day and be Thankful for the chance to build a beautiful page that is a tribute to your classmates. It is more of an honor and privilege than many think.
Have a wonderful day! And thanks again to all for their ideas and input!
"Many hands make light work"!

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 2:12 PM - Response #6

My condolences for your loss. We also recently lost a wonderful and loving classmate. Yesterday was her funeral and the church was packed to the roof! We had 2 rows full of classmates that attended, which shows our support to the family. I wanted to do something special for Barbara so I added little extra's on her memorial page. Click HERE to go directly to Barbara Ann's Memorial page I did for her. I have decided after this weekend that I am going to add more pictures from the past to each of our deceased classmate's Memorial pages. I want them to be special like the classmates were to us. I may even add music to each of their pages in the near future.

We are having a bonfire get together this Sarturday night and we will have a container to gather any donations to go the local pregnancy center that our classmates worked at and also part of the money will go to the family as we Barbara had a lengthy stay in the hospital. One of our classmates made a memorial book and made copies of all the posts and I made copies of pictures of Barbara and her husband from our 30th class reunion that was held a few months ago. We are also going to allow classamtes at the bonfire to sign it and write memories if they did not get a post in yet. We will present it to the family after this weekend.

God Bless,
Dawn

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Edited 10/08/09 2:17 PM
Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 2:51 PM - Response #7

What a wonderful tribute, Dawn!
I haven't lived near any classmates in almost 30 years, and only hope that others can fill me in...i just found out that i had added the U2 song, "I still haven't found what I am looking for..." to the Memory playlist, by lack of my editing skills, while updating some playlists...Yikes!
Thanks for helping commemorate the lives of those that left us better people for knowing them...It may mean more than you'll ever know to others! And that is one reason why we are choosing to meet every five years...even some in the same town never cross paths until the reunions! A reminder to savor Life! (Two local, very popular teenagers were killed in auto accidents nearby in the past two weeks, and left their friends and family, and the community grief stricken...the lessons are painful and will last a lifetime...)
Thanks again!

kris

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 3:07 PM - Response #8

Great ideas. However I'm unable to see the memorial page because I'm not one of your classmates.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 3:27 PM - Response #9

I, like you used this sad time to remind our classmates how important it is to fill in their profiles and share comments with all of our classmates. I sent an email blast from our web site to our class and I'm already seeing a result. Classmate Jim

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Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 6:15 PM - Response #10

We had two classmates pass since we started our site. It is such a hard thing to deal with and unfortunately the older we get the more we will need to add them to memory list. But we look at the bright side. Without our site some would have never gotten to know them again.

I add the link to their guestbook so that they can sign it if they wish. I put an announcement on the home page stating that we are sorry to announce that so and so has passed away. Please keep their family in your thoughts and prayers. We also have established a fund for things like this. We send a single red rose (the class flower) with a card that states condolances from the WHS class of 1973. We also use the funds for sending cards to classmates who having surgery or in serious health conditions. And a card with our condolances of a parent who passes away. And I post their guestbook on the homepage. We are hoping that the two we lost this year will be our last for a while.

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