Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 9:47 PM
I'm going to preface this with a list of anacronyms:
Abraham Com's wife, Dorothy = Dot Com
Abraham Com's wife was comely and tall =
Amazon Dot Com
Uriah's Pony Stable = UPS
Must Send Drum Over Sound = MSDOS
Hebrew To The People = HTTP
Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites = NERDS
Bay of Ezekiel = E-Bay
Young Ambitious Owner Operators = YAHOO
Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid = GEEK
God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything = GOOGLE
It all started in the Old Testament
In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by UPS."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as MSDOS, and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - HTTP.
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over eBay as it came to be known.He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO", said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO.COM
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young GEEK that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as GOOGLE.
That is how it all began.
And that's the truth.
I thought it might be time for a little levity.